Downtown couple looks to form child-care co-op

The nice thing about living in Durham and commuting to Raleigh is, you've got a so-called "reverse commute," with no traffic to speak of.

Unless, that is, the one commuting to the City of Oaks is your small child, heading to a Raleigh day care. And since they don't drive, naturally, it's the parent hauling them there and back.

Such is the life of Elaine McVey and her husband, newcomers from northwest Raleigh who decided that they "didn't like our cookie-cutter neighborhood with its nutty homeowner's association," in McVey's words, "and because we found maintaining our large house and yard overwhelming and unsatisfying."

Renting now on Trinity Ave. near downtown but looking to buy in the next year -- but definitely planning to stay in the Bull City -- McVey has had only one quibble with her newfound home city: child care offerings.

As McVey puts it:

I was excited to discover that there were childcare centers that had the same philosophy to childcare that I have (unlike Ian's current daycare), and are places I could feel really happy about taking him. I've been sad to find, however, that Ian is not going to get into any of these centers (Lakewood Ave. School, Kin Too, and First Pres. Day School). In part, this is because all the childcare in Durham that I like (except Kin Too) gives preference to children of Duke employees. Also, there is clearly much higher demand for this care than there is supply.

McVey's search for a local option that agreed with her family's child-rearing goals and that could provide a child-centric, discovery-oriented approach to the early years -- something she loved at centers like Lakewood that are full-up -- led her to do something very DIY in Durham, perhaps the number one "DIY" city in the Triangle--

Try to start her own downtown childcare co-op.

Unlike the usual meaning of the term, McVey isn't looking for this to be an arrangement where participating parents split days on providing care, but instead a cooperatively-managed, perhaps not-for-profit with parents serving on the board of directors and providing the administrative overhead that a day care manager typically might.

They'd then look to hire a lead tacher, with either a teacher's aide or possibly parents pitching in to provide a second adult on-site.

And McVey's seeking other parents in or near downtown, who'd like to take advantage of what the city center has to offer.

One of the reasons we love living in downtown Durham is that we feel part of the city. We walk to things, we make use of public spaces and places. If I stayed home with Ian, I'd be taking him places during the days, and I'd like him to be going places even though he's in childcare. If the number of kids is small enough (6 kids can fit in a bye-bye buggy (big stroller!)), and the location is well-chosen, the kids could walk to public parks, events at the library, museums, etc., instead of being stuck inside one building and yard all day every day.

She's pitched the idea on listservs and started a blog to recruit other parents who might be interested. To date, she's had two bites on the idea, and hopes to find eight or so familes in total to make this project a go.

Find out more at http://downtowndurhamchildcarecoop.blogspot.com/.

Comments

[Keep Durham Different!]

We found Bright Horizons on Presidential (up near Durham County Hospital) to be very good, non-preferential to Duke employees, with a short waiting list. Another thing parents can try is to "make do" with one of the church-sponsored daycares until they clear the waitlist. There's a baptist one in RTP that always has spots at $125/wk. We did this until our daughter cleared the waitlist at the Duke Children's Campus.

[David McMullen]

There's a similar story about Durham Community Preschool http://www.durhamcommunitypreschool.com/ - when Calvary Methodist Church decided to shut down its PMO program for budget reasons, the parents banded together to keep it going as an independent nonprofit. Just part of that ol' Durham spirit, I guess.

[Betty]

There is also the Erwin Road School.

[Concerned for Ian]

As a professional daycare provider, I find that this is highly likely to fail. In order to fulfill everything that the state of NC requires for a daycare center this mother will need more than "eight or so families" to fulfill her dream. The state will require that you meet teacher to child ratios and this idea of one teacher to six children will also depend on the ages of the children. I find the idea of this so called "co-op" laughable. Also, the center I work for does not give (preference) to Duke employees, proving that not all Durham facilities do so.

[James Martin]

I find it consistently amusing how many people think starting a "non-profit" so very easy. Not making a profit and being a non-profit org under the IRS codes are two VERY different things. That said, why reinvent the wheel? There are already excellent childcare options in Durham. Try posting on TriangleMommies.com for recommendations and they're sure to find a ton.

[John Rolfe]

These people already seem like your typical stressed out helicopter parents. Get over yourselves. Only three daycares are acceptable? Wow. I can hear them now... "If MY child doesn't get the KIND of daycare HE needs, then he won't get into YALE!" These kind of people need to take their Manhattan attitudes and fancy pants back above the Mason-Dixon line... or to Cary or Chapel Hill where there is more acceptable daycare apparently than the BullCity! Keep the Bull Hood 4 EVA!

[Matt Chrien]

@Concerned: I don't think she said that all daycares give preference to Duke employees, just the ones that she liked. Either she didn't like your facility, or she doesn't know of it.

@James: I don't think the post makes any mention of anyone stating that starting a co-op daycare would be an easy process.

@Concerned and James: Why are both of you being discouraging towards an idea that involves absolutely no effort or work on your part?

[Todd P]

We also found Bright Horizons at Independence Park to be a high quality center with great staff & programs. Much of the staff has been there for more than 5 years. As a plus, they have a shaded playground and are on a dead end street (a.k.a. cul-de-sac) so there are not thousands of cars driving by all day long. They do not offer a preference to Duke staff families.

[Natalie]

We live downtown, we have one car, we now have an infant who needs full-time care so that we can work our jobs. Finding a place that was safe, clean, and met our minimal standards of what daycare should be are scarce and expensive. Because our daughter is exclusively breastfed it needed to be within walking distance of downtown. When we found a place we liked where we trusted that our infant would be held, loved, and cared for while we worked we waited five months for a spot to open...and we have the Duke hook-up working to our advantage.

I think this is a great idea and can't wait to help out. And in case it matters, I'm from Georgia, not Manhattan.

[reinventing the wheel]

My wife and I have worked hard to create a childcare/parent co-op. We are very interested in being part of this project, so far the greatest obstacle has been other parents sharing the load. WE have a great community space for meeting, we are right downtown and have tons of clothes from the clothing swap we've done for the past year. How do i contact you? There is no contact info on the blog....that I've found....

[Elaine]

My wife and I can't help thinking that, despite the spotless cleanliness, brightly colored wall murals, mountains of toys, and well-educated (and genuinely caring) teachers that are available at many of the daycare options we've toured, the true focus of many of these Starbucks-of-childcare is on catering to helicopter parents like those mentioned above.
There are thumbprint scanners to give the illusion of security - yet people I've never met hold the door open when I come to pick Ian up. There are endless reports about the specially-prepared curriculum meant to make me think that everything humanly possible will be done to help Ian be the precocious little genius I must think him to be.
The truth is, the fanciest pants I own are Dockers. In the interest of full disclosure, Elaine and I were both educated at some of the most prestigious institutions in the Northeast. We do go to the farmers' market most Saturdays and listen to lots of NPR. However, our dream for Ian is not that he achieve some pre-packaged ideal of "success." Which college he attends - or whether he chooses to attend at all - will be completely up to him. Much more important to me than his education, career, or title (or lack thereof) are that he learns to find and pursue his passions; grows to love others well; and discovers happiness, contentment, and peace.
Elaine and I both love Durham. Our perception is that it is real, authentic, and deeply beloved by its residents. It is truly diverse: racially, economically, culturally, and even architecturally diverse. It does not attempt to bury any hint of problems, suffering, or perceived imperfection in a soul-killing wasteland of well-manicured homogeneity in the same way that other nearby towns and cities do. (This is all Durham folks here, right? I'm talking about Cary, North Raleigh, and Chapel Hill, of course! But don't tell them I said that.)
What we really hope for in the way of childcare is an experience for Ian that is more like our experience of Durham. We don't want pre-packaged, institutional, and immaculately clean at the expense of having real soul. We want the sort of place where Ian frequently comes home more dirty than we sent him due to the chickens running around in the backyard. OK, maybe the chickens aren't strictly necessary and are possibly more fun than the killjoys at the NC DCD will allow, but one of our favorite books about designing spaces for early childhood education features a toddler chasing chickens. And there was that recent ordinance allowing chickens inside city limits...
Anyway, don't be too concerned for Ian. We don't take ourselves nearly seriously enough to make his life miserable by applying excessive pressure. Besides, all of that hovering would take away valuable time I might better spend watching Hulu.
On the other hand, if we end up deciding that starting a co-op is the best option, it WILL happen. I have built a successful small business in the last couple of years in the midst of the worst recession in decades. I am well aware of the determination, skill, and perseverance required to triumph in the face of difficult odds. I can think of no better model for Ian: the passion, dedication, and courage to try something new, be it building a business or building a daycare, despite the risks, inconvenience, and (perplexingly inexplicable) antagonism of naysayers.

-Ian's Dad

[Paola]

Hey Ian's Dad and Mom,

As I read this, I see a lot of what I've been thinking about for the past year or two. As a teacher, I can't help but think about that side of the story. I think its worth thinking about--- with respect to your co-op-- the teacher's relationship to the vision. As a teacher and a human being it is important to me to feel like i have agency, and i think most teachers would agree. It is worth examining whether the teacher should also be part of the vision conversations, as well as part of the governing board. I think this is part of the difference between a teacher that propels and participates in growing a vision, versus a teacher that enacts one they are not a part of (or for a paycheck). best of luck

[Kevin Davis]

@Ian's Dad -- I was a bit surprised at some of the comments back on the thread... and as someone with a deep allergic reaction to helicopter parents, y'all didn't come across that way at all.

Appreciate your sharing your thoughts on this -- and good luck starting this up!

[Elaine]

Paola -
Thanks for your perspective as a teacher. As we've been learning more and talking to some local preschool directors, we have been coming to this same conclusion - that teachers need to be involved in the process early on, and that we need to find teachers we trust and let them carry out activities based on their expertise, rather than dictating. This seems obvious when I say it now, but I was coming at this from a parent's perspective. We are learning. - Ian's mom

[Andy]

I would support this. Good, affordable childcare is hard to find if you aren't a doctor or research scientist or something and I love the fact that these folks want to be able to walk to museums and parks and things downtown. Its a little late in the game for us as our daughter is starting school this year, but we would have definitley been interested in this earlier.
Its always nice when people choose Durham over Raleigh, Chapel Hill or Cary in spite of the rep we have. Durham is a great place to live!