Local government goes all "Law & Order" on Adam & Eve, totally busts a couple of illegal dressing rooms

You may have thought the debate over the Adam & Eve adult novelties shop in South Durham was long past us now, what with City Councilman Howard Clement unable to get the store's franchisees and neighbors to sit down for discussions, and after local municipal staff found that the business didn't qualify as an adult bookstore and that the City thus wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on in preventing its occupancy.

And the store opened, and the shoppers interested in partaking of the adults-only apples in the shop did partake, and the plague of locusts did not strike Woodcroft Pkwy., and all was right in Southpointyland.

Well, almost. The citizen crusade for a Adam-free, Eve-less South Durham continues, and no stone of the Unified Development Ordinance -- even those really hard-to-read ones that have all those percentages and "whereases" and stuff -- will be left unturned.

Cue the "Law & Order" theme music. Zoning Enforcement is on the case, and that means those storage closets are going to be inspected, natch. And don't forget the tape measure!

Our story begins with one Joe Mayer, one of the voices behind the petition against the Adam & Eve shop. In late January, Mayer wrote City/County Planning director Steve Medlin (whose visage actually does kinda look like Jerry Orbach's Lennie Brisco in that picture), dropping a dime on the (to Mayer) retail slime:

Wednesday I walked the interior space at 6400 Fayetteville, where you have allowed Adam and Eve adult bookstore to commence occupancy, in violation of the law. There is an adult bookstore operating at that CN-zoned location with about 1,000 adult DVD's for rent. Further, the 1,500 square feet  referenced in your email below [for storage/mechanical space] IS currently occupied; there is a clear site plan violation and there is non-compliance with your issued permit to occupy.  Please have your inspection and your enforcement personnel get out to the site Monday morning and issue the appropriate citations.  Time is of the essence; the adverse seconday effects of this illegal occupancy are beginning to impact the surrounding neighborhood.

This came after an exchange in which Mayer was concerned that A&E might not have enough parking spaces, at which time the plot-twisting role of the 1,500 sq. ft. for unoccupied storage space became clear. A point which brings back to our mind here at BCR the immortal words of Lennie Brisco, who once responded, "Like I always say, parking in this city'll kill you."

In any case, Medlin and his crack Zoning Enforcement team were totally on the case, setting the donuts aside and hitting the mean streets from their downtown Durham precinct, taking the squad car to Fayetteville and 54.

Mayer's point comes back to the issue central to this matter from the beginning: if a majority of the store's revenue were to come from adult videos or books, or if it were a bookstore with "a preponderance (either in terms of the weight and importance of the material or in terms of greater volume of materials) of its publications" being of an adult nature, according to N.C. state statute, Adam & Eve would be an adult establishment subject to tougher regulation under Durham's UDO, not -- as the store owner has maintained -- a retail outlet.

As City Attorney Patrick Baker put it in the N&O's Sunday feature on the matter a couple of months back:

The only remaining use that could justify characterizing Adam & Eve as an adult establishment would be to determine it to be an adult bookstore -- defined as one that receives a majority of its income from the sale or rental of sexually oriented publications (video and print).

While Adam & Eve does sell sexually oriented publications, the majority of its operation is related to the sale of clothing and items that are not sexually oriented publications. We do not believe Adam & Eve can reasonably be characterized as an adult bookstore.

So, just what did Bull City's finest zoning enforcement team find? A a couple of bah-bums and white-text-on-black-title fades later, Medlin makes it back to the precinct, er, office (from a budget retreat) to give Mayer the low-down on the down-low. Or something.

Medlin writes:

On Monday January 26th two members of the Planning staff, both experienced with dealing with adult establishments, inspected the site for compliance with the approved site plan and floor plan, as well evaluated the merchandise for sale on site for compliance with the determination that this is not an adult establishment. The staff identified that less than 100 square feet of the sales floor area was dedicated to videos of an adult nature with the remaining square floor area being used for the retail sales of goods including apparel, toys, novelties and supplies. As the total square footage of the facility is approximately 3,500 square feet in size and 635 square feet of the area is reserved for toilets and unfinished storage this would indicate that the area being used for the sale of merchandise that would qualify as adult establishment based goods regulated under the General Statute and Unified Development Ordinance definitions is less than 4% of the total sales floor area or less than 3% of the overall total square footage of the facility if including the unfinished storage and toilets.

As Lennie once said: "Perfectly good suspect. I hate when that happens."

But, forsooth: there's another plot twist coming up in this episode. Medlin continues:

While on site the inspectors did identify one area of non-compliance which involved that two of the storage closets were being used as dressing rooms with mirrors and clothes hooks. The manager of the facility was notified of this digression from the approved floor plan and advised that they had 24 hours to correct the defect of using the storage areas as changing rooms, including the removal of the mirrors and clothing hooks or issuance of a zoning enforcement citation would occur. This is standard zoning enforcement procedure as compliance is the primary intent of any enforcement action. The manager indicated that she were unaware of this limitation but committed to making the necessary corrective actions within the prescribed timeline.

Totally busted! That closets-into-dressing-room fakeout fools the coppers every time. And you think the perps are just going to get to walk for this one?

Well -- er, yeah. Medlin:

The following day, January 27th, [ed.: cue title; insert "bah-bum!" noise --BCR] the zoning inspectors re-inspected the facility and found that the mirrors and hooks had been removed and that merchandise was being stored in the areas in compliance with the approved plans. Therefore the site was in full zoning compliance and no further action is required. The Zoning Enforcement staff will periodically re-inspect to ensure compliance. Should at any point within the next two years non-compliance be identified we will issue a citation with appropriate civil penalty which can be up to $500.00 per day of non-compliance.

Or, as Lenny Brisco once said: "Sure, if he gives us his words of honor and promises never to do it again, we'll just forget the whole thing."

So Adam & Eve has met the fuzz, and squirmed past their tape-measure tomfoolery and their closet inspectin', and come out squeaky clean.

To quote ol' Lennie one more time: "Should you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me."

Just kidding. That last line was Medlin through and through.

Comments

[Moe R]

I can appreciate the city's thoroughness on this matter if I didn't see it as pointless. It just pushes my buttons because one of our neighbors is selling used mattresses (YUCK) out of their living room like it's the mattress firm and our other neighbor is selling pittbulls (poor puppies) like it's petsmart. I just hope somone decides to open up a Harris Teeter so I can be all set. My point is Durham doesn't care to inspect rental homes as they do porn shops err I mean retail outlets, for zoning violations. I can understand why... visiting a porn shop during the work day, sounds like a joyful time to me. But i digress... Maybe I need to get Joe Mayer to write a very strongly worded letter full of Freudian innuendo with threats of cupcakes to have not one but TWO inspectors to the houses next door. Joe Mayer can you hear me? Will you help me? please? I will not resort to the "Barry" method of setting the entrepreneur's car on fire. I should be careful what i say because soon I cannot make said accusations without an apology... http://www.wral.com/news/local/politics/story/4487576/
sorry Barry

-Moe
E. Trinity Ave

[barry]

jeez louise Moe.

i sincerely hope you're not talking about me in reference to the incident on Friday night on East Markham Ave. Because if you are, that's not even remotely funny. Someone could have easily died in that fire.

[mehmattski]

I always thought the sound was "doink doink"

[S Gwaltney]

Mayer is going about this all wrong. I live in Parkwood so I frequently go to the Kroger via the Fayeteville entrance rather than the 54 entrance. This means that I turn left over two lanes of busy traffic to enter the Kroger shopping center. Last time I did that, I noticed several very tall good look'n manikins in the A&E window display right on that corner dressed in those fancey clothes A&E sell. If the law for window displays is similar to the law on the billboards that states anything that distracts a driver for 2 seconds or more, then there could be a saftey violation. I just about wrecked a half dozen cars turning into Kroger while looking at those displays. It was just a lot more scenic of a trip to the grocery store than I am used to experiencing. Anyway...just an observation from a neighbor who does not think it is polluting our children, but wouldn't mind the window display's scaling back some.

[Ginny]

I love that Medlin writes: "On Monday January 26th two members of the Planning staff, both experienced with dealing with adult establishments, LOL. Sorry, my middle school humor is coming out.

[Michael Bacon]

"Time is of the essence; the adverse seconday effects of this illegal occupancy are beginning to impact the surrounding neighborhood."

I really want to know what he means by this. Or maybe I don't.

[Todd]

What is it about Kroger and their racy neighbors? Driving past Priscilla's is always a highlight of a trip to Kroger at Northpoint.

I am not sure what Mayer is so hot and bothered about. Between regulating A&E and the latest ruckus over chickens, the Planning staff sure is having an interesting year. Steve Medlin could sell tickets to his staff meetings.

[B]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if the new A&E fails, it's because there's already an overabundance of dildoes in South Durham.

[David McMullen]

Here we go again! A&E has been fighting for the right to remain in business for at least 25 years - I remember when Chapel Hill was desperately searching for a pretext to keep them from opening a store within the town limits back in the 80s.

I'd really like to know the total amount of taxpayer money that has been wasted persecuting this business during its existence. Hm, maybe that's a pretext for shutting them down - "The cost of dealing with the bogus complaints about your business has exceeded what we've received in property tax and sales tax revenue from your business, so we can't permit you to operate any more." Or maybe, more logically, it would be a pretext for local law enforcement to leave them alone and get on to dealing with serious problems.

[Moe]

D.E-

I wouldn't have made a reference to it - if in fact someone was hurt. I do feel a little bad about the family who lives there, and that their lives must have been negatively altered by this event..... but I think a fire is a prime example of why you shouldn't run a "distribution business" out of your driveway.
Moving forward, I will try to dilute my sarcasm and comedy for it's an acquired taste.

[Phil]

Great coverage, Kevin!

My only suggestion is that this theme music seems to fit better with the quotes:

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Dragnet.html (with audio, peeps, so turn your volume down if necessary)

[barry]

Moe - i promise not to hijack this thread any more after this comment. As far as we know, no one was hurt. The folks who lived there bailed on Friday night, and no one has seen them return. One email on our list suggested they were gone before the fire department arrived. If the truck's gas tank caught fire, which from looking at the remains of the truck appears to be the case, then it could have easily spread to the house next door. (I'll have some photos at my place later today. The vehicles are still in the driveway.)

In addition to it being a reminder of why certain types of business don't belong in residential neighborhoods, it should also encourage the Planning Department to take these concerns more seriously when people present them. Lord knows how much trouble i had getting the department to look into the auto repair shop and junkyard that was being run directly behind my house in 2005 & 2006.

By the way, just over a year or so ago, another vehicle belonging to a different tenant at the same address burned to the ground right in front of the house. According to one post on our listserv, the official cause of that is listed as "spontaneous combustion."

btw - i have no problem with sarcasm. i just don't think suggesting that i'm an arsonist is very funny.

[Toby]

Todd-

Next thing you know, someone will apply for a permit to open "an adult-themed poultry supply establishment", and the Planning Dept will have to add more staff just to complete the inspection process. I can think of some great naming possibilities for the store...

[Tar Heelz]

Lighten up, Francis, err Barry.

[Tanner Lovelace]

I wish the city officials would pay as much attention to getting rid of the illegal and offensive "billboard" on the truck on Fayetteville Rd as they do to this.

[GinaBeNeeNa]

Yeah okay the crack about the Car fire was totally funny.

I'm sorry but can I request you dumb butts get off your "Fat Cat Buttocks" and go spend my hard earned tax money on ohh... I don't know.... maybe ah something worth while like fixing street lights or building a bigger animal shelter. You know something that actually matters. Dont get me wrong I think inspections are worth their weight in gold if they are preventing fires, useful stuff like that. But if this is all the FCB's are doing, then I say we need to hold them accountable for every dime they spend on BS inspections.
What butt heads.... and I meant that in only the most loving, positive, supportive, manner possible.

[Diva Shoe Fetish]

It never fails to amaze me how many US citizens nowadays focus on so much stuff that is irrelevant and the stuff that does matter, nobody has the GUTS OR HEART to say anything about.

Look at the shape the economy is in and this is what this guy has to complain about....an Adam & Eve store?

[erg]

i know what mayer was talking about when he said the adverse effects were already occuring: i was running on the greenway earlier an as i approached the store, my insides felt funny and i wanted to do crazy, unladylike things!

when medlin says "should at any point within the next two years non-compliance be identified we will issue a citation..." is that code for mayer to visit A&E every day for the next two years just to make sure its fully compliant? you know....for the children. and the children's children!

[S Gwaltney]

He should just buy enough video's to tip the sales scales to over 50%.