Bean's return: A very Durham moment

At a recent event, I was speaking with a fellow attendee about my wife's impending completion of a graduate program and re-entry into the work world -- a welcome event for our bank account, I cracked. When I mentioned we were proud to be staying in Durham, though, I got a surprised reaction, as though the natural next step in progress would be a new home in Chapel Hill or Apex.

Why do we love Durham? At the end of the day, revitalization and transformation aside, the biggest reason we wouldn't live anywhere else in the Triangle has to do with the people, and the sense of community within and among neighborhoods and residents.

Case in point: The now-successful search for Bean, a pit bull once rescued from a dog-fighting ring, then stolen out of his owner's car on Ninth Street in early February before (based on sightings) apparently escaping his abductor, left lost wandering the streets of the Bull City.

Now, in just about any city or suburb, you might see a few "lost dog" posters after an event like that, or see a family cruising the cul-de-sacs calling out for their lost pet.

In Durham, the brazenness of the crime, and I suspect the love of many Durhamites for our own pets, led to a rapid community mobilization. And I don't use that word lightly.

Neighborhood listservs were filled with calls to be on the look out for the three-year-old pooch, along with rumors of sightings and encounters. Dozens of neighbors (see photo at left for one group) got together to traverse areas of Durham where Bean might be.

A blog run by Bean's distraught owners kept the community aware of the status of the search, along with the personal highs and lows along the way.

In the end, a young man found the dog and brought it home, unaware it was the lost pooch; his nephew had seen flyers about Bean's disappearance and the promise of a $1,000 reward. Bean was returned to his rightful owners, who ended up borrowing funds from friends to make the large reward (promised in their desperation to bring Bean home.)

So yesterday, at 10:25 am, the relieved owner (who'd been providing updates throughout the ordeal) posts a donation box on their web site and asks if folks can help chip in to meet the reward cost.

By 2:55 pm -- almost the entire $1,000 was raised.

Stuff like this doesn't happen just everywhere. Sure, there are good people anywhere you go. But Durham's got an embarrassment of riches when it comes to the good-hearted. Neighbors who donated hours of their time to canvass the city for this one lost dog; who'd open their wallets to help out a family who'd lost a dear pet; who'd just take a moment out of their everyday life to care.

So Bean's back home, and all is well in the Proffitt/Silver home. A good ending to a sad story. And another good day for Durham.

Read more at the N&O or Bean's blog.

Comments

[John]

Do you and your wife have kids? If yes, where do they go to school. I get so tired of people championing Durham who don't have kids, or people who live in big houses in WHHN or TP and send them to private school (their own private neighborhood "magnet" schools included). Get over yourselves. Durham is a fine place to live, but why keep acting like it has to be better than other places?

[Durham Bull Pen]

Have to LOL at the comment about "championing Durham." How dare anyone take pride in living in Durham lest it be seen as too uppity? I guess we should know our place in life as Durhamites and not be too proud--or it can be misconstrued by our betters as getting out of line.

Funny how that works.

[David McMullen]

Yeah, well, you know how it is. Durham is supposed to be the Triangle's whipping boy, and whenever something happens that might give people a good impression of Durham, the subject must be changed immediately.

Incidentally, it's good to see that Bean found his way home.

[Rebecca]

Hi! Thanks for the nice words about Bean! Just so you know, Bean is a girl. A lot of people want to call her a boy, for some reason...
We love Durham too!

- Bean's mom.

[B]

John--There do exist people in this world for whom children are not the center of the universe...you know that, right?

[TSQ75]

I dont have kids...but just about all of my friends and neighbors do...and love raising their kids in this town.

[Joe]

I'm pleased to hear about Bean's recovery and the generosity of his supporters. But I'm not horribly surprised, because I've seen this kind of generosity before when my friend Charo -- http://littleradioshow.blogspot.com/ -- rescued a dachshund who'd been hit on Cornwallis Road. The dog needed $3000 for a hip operation. Charo asked for donations, and got, IIRC, $3200 within a few days. Charo had to ask people to stop donating. :) She named the dog Cornwallis, and adopted him out with a little trust fund from the leftover cash. The story is still up on the web: http://singintomymouth.com/cornwallis/

[9/9]

Let me preface my post here with the statment that I love Durham and I love being a part of the community here. I am a teacher in DPS and I take a lot of pride in what I do and the community that I am a part of.

That said, this post reminds me of part of Durham that I worry about sometimes. I agree with the post that the close-knittedness (not a real word, I know) is one of Durham's great strengths. I also think the diversity of the city is one of it's great strengths. But, where is the diversity of Durham in that picture of the neighbors that got together to look for Bean?

Is the willingness of people to help out something that really stretches across Durham, or are we still isolated into our own little subgroups?

In all seriousness, this kind of stuff keeps me awake at night.

[9/9]

And, of course, I should add that I am happy to hear that Bean made it home safely.

[JDC]

Just for the record, Durham was listed in the top 20 places to educate your child in Forbes magazine. Not "Raleigh-Durham" or the Triangle. No other NC municipality was on the list.

http://bullinfull.typepad.com/bif/2007/12/forbes-durham-b.html

It takes a village to raise a child, as they say, and I think Durham is as good a place as any to raise kids, regardless of the reputation of the public schools.

[Carol]

I'm not sure but I think the photo looks like Northgate Park which is home to numerous dog lovers. I live there and its a wonderful community. I believe its unique. As a matter of fact, my fiance and I are adding on to our home in order to live there for many years to come. We had many other options available to us but chose this community. We received the flyers about Bean and are thrilled that she is home again. I have to reply to John. I can see that Durhamites are sometimes smug (myself included). Please forgive us. We often have to defend Durham against people who aren't familiar with so many of its advantages. Its becomes a habit. RE: Schools. Give me a break. We have Durham School of the Arts as well as stellar private schools like DA. I went to Northern and ended up doing well in life. I'm probably older than most people on this site and believe me parts of Durham are truly unique. I also agree that there are things I would like to change, but I still prefer it to other parts of the Triangle.

[Michael Bacon]

9/9: Are we looking at the same picture? I see at least four folks of color, and a couple of others who might be of non-European origin behind their sunglasses. It's women, men, young kids, teenagers, young adults, middle aged folks, and seniors.

What are you holding out for, Moldovans?

[9/9]

Michael,

Perhaps you just have a higher quality picture than I do? I count about 30 people in the picture and can identify one of color. I don't have great vision, though.

The picture aside, my point still remains, at least in my mind. Maybe I am just attending the wrong Durham community events, but I don't often see the city's diversity reflected in as much of the community as I would like.

[MrsSteel]

Welcome home, Bean! Thanks for passing along this heart-warming story, Kevin.

As for John's comments, I don't see what's wrong with being proud of one's home. Everywhere I've lived, there are people who are proud of their house, their neighborhood, their city. Why can't Durhamites be proud, too? I don't begrudge residents of Raleigh or Cary or Philadephia or London or any other community for being happy where they live. If they're happy where they are, then good for them. And if I'm happy where I am, then good for me!

And by the by, I know many people who have children in Durham's public schools and are quite happy. I have spoken to a couple of mothers who moved here from northern states & they have said that their children have shown a dramatic improvement now that they are in Durham's schools. There are a lot of parents out there who are happy to have their children in Durham's public school system.

[Lee]

Yaaay for Bean being home! It's funny, though...last night we were out walking our dogs and I thought "Man, what if people think it would be a good idea to come around and steal dogs and then return them in hopes of big reward money?" So then I had to laugh picturing the flyer for one of my dogs. It would read "Dog Stolen. She is 11 years old with hip dysplasia and incontinence. She needs Cosequin twice a day, Proin and allergy pills. She's allergic to everything except for Nature's Recipe Vegetarian formula. She's also had cancer 3 times and has a lump under her arm pit that we'd just discovered and had an appointment for. Lastly, she often needs to be carried up the steps. If you have her, please take good care of her." I'm guessing that we'd find her on back on the porch that night!! And sadly, it's all true!!!

[David Rollins]

Durham is a crappy place to live, but many of us prefer it that way. Yes, the crime rate is high, the taxes even higher, and the schools leave a lot to be desired. But have you considered that the lower property values allow us to afford private school, not to mention live in a 100-yr. old house in TP that I would never be able to afford were it in Connecticut?

My daughter will get true socioeconomic diversity in her public school education, which I value greatly (I was one of the few Dukies to come from a mostly black public high school). And if she gets stabbed or has a learning disability requiring any type of individualized attention, off to Durham Academy she will go. Big deal.

Yes, my car gets broken into every other month, and I feel the need to carry a pistol with me wherever I go. But so what? I'll take Durham over Cary any day.

[David McMullen]

9/9: There's an African-American couple on the back row near the left side of the fireplace. There's another African-American man leaning on the left side of the fireplace. In the top left corner, there's another man whom I believe is African-American - the light's a bit poor, so I'm not 100% sure.

As for diversity at various places and events around Durham, I guess it depends on where you go and when you go. I'm frequently at the playground at Duke Park with my 3-year-old son, and there's almost always a good mix of white, black and assorted shades of brown among the kids playing together there. At events for adults - yeah, not so much sometimes.

[TSQ75]

9/9: you are right, that picture does not represent the diversity in our community at all.

it also doesnt represent how much residents do on a day to day basis to try to bring communities together. It doesnt show how many neighborhood events are advertised in all areas of neighborhoods in at least 2 languages, to try to get populations together.

it also doesnt show the thick wall of fear and misconception that exist from both sides. the white people who avoid walking down certain streets in broad daylight, the hispanics who keep their head down for fear that a white person will have them deported, or the black person who feels like he has to apologizewhen he moves out of the way of a white person on a sidewalk, the white people who get their guard up the minute a person of color walks by their home and says hello

no, that picture doesnt show all that diversity in our town.

i guess my point is, if you dont see my black friend in a picture with me, it doesnt mean i dont have a black friend. it just means he or she wasnt in the picture.

dont make assumptions about people

[9/9]

TSQ75: I apologize if I hit a nerve. My point was not to generalize about a community based on a picture (I don't know if it matters that I am even talking about my community, since I live within walking distance of where that photo was taken). My point was that picture reminds me of the issue I think about a lot with this community. I don't know you and I don't know your friends, and it is not my place to say anything about you. All I know is that I love Durham. I love the activity that happens here. I wish that more of the activites that I am a part of here reflected the diversity of the city. Maybe the problem is the activities that I am a part of. Maybe I need to make an effort to drive around east Durham and offer to be a part of the community there, since I tend to find myself in central/downtown Durham often.

If I am the only one with this concern, then I will apologize for my comments here and acknowledge the problem lies with me.

Anyone know any good therapists in town?

[Melissa]

This Bean story reminds me of my lost pet story--a few months after moving to eastern Durham (not too far from Southern HS) my cat escaped. My fiance and I were really touched by the outpouring of support for us--people searched the woods by their house, the kids formed search parties, and people called us just to tell us that their thoughts were with us. It really was a special feeling to know we had such kind and considerate neighbors.

We really appreciate the diversity and vitality of Durham and would love to stay here. However, we do have concerns about the schools and wonder, when we do have kids, what we will do. We definitely need to do more research before deciding whether to leave or stay. We would love to stay, though.

Oh, and our cat was found, although the neighbors didn't help. After ten days, she finally wandered into the trap we set for her!

[Aura Heine]

I have a dog her name is Ariel, I love her with all my heart. I can't imagine the pain and suffering Bean's parents went through when she was missing. My daughter place the fliyer on the refrigerator to remind us that Bean was still out there. I believe in "God" with all my heart and soul so I prayed to him to bring Bean home safely or touch the people's heart that had her in order to return her safely to her parents. On Saturday night, I dreamed that Bean was in my backyard and had come up to my deck. I was very happy. I am also very proud to have neighbors and friends who love their dogs and provided support to Bean's parents this past Saturday. I am very happy to hear that Bean is safe home with the people that love her. We need to help pass a law in NC to protect pit bulls and pitbull mix in order to keep them away from the hands of those heartless individuals who use them for fighting and mistreat them. Please count me in. I am ready to help.

[Terry]

Oh, John, 1st to comment, 1st to, well, nevermind. I have two kids in Durham Public Schools, one in 2nd grade, one in 6th grade and they've done quite well. We could have sent them to any private school, but chose to send them someplace where everyone wouldn't be exactly like them. Oh, and DCR....if you have a learning disability, don't bother going to a private school. Private schools have no requirement to provide exceptional services (which may be one reason why the Hill Center is located right across the street from DA). Many private schools require that parents pay for classroom help for kids with learning disabilities or require them to attend public schools, where it is required that services be provided.

[Michael Bacon]

9/9: You're not the only one with those concerns, and it's certainly a problem. Durham's civil society remains a bit too much in the realm of "separate but equal." But I guess my point is, first off, a lot of us are really trying, and second off, don't knock an example of just the opposite happening. (Click on the photo and it will enlarge.) Northgate Park is a great example of a community that is truly diverse in all the ways it should be.

[9/9]

Michael: My comments were most certainly not a knock at those in Northgate Park or those involved with the search for Bean. If they came off that way, I am sorry. As I said before, the post here just reminded me of the issue I think about often.

I guess in the future I should just keep my big mouth shut.

However, I am still interested in suggestions from anyone who has ways to get more involved in a more diverse set of communities and neigborhoods. It sounds like some of you (TSQ75, maybe?) are much more successful at that than I have been. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

[Bull City Rising]

9/9, I don't think you need to apologize for raising the question. (Thanks for your regular comments here, BTW.)

I didn't read 9/9's comment as a dig on the search group, but as a question about something a lot of us struggle with in thinking about how we interact (or don't) across ethnic and race lines.

To be honest, when I first glanced at the photo yesterday, the same thought went through my head, too. Not that I was counting faces, obviously; but in a city that's 45% black and 45% white, you notice that most times groups don't reflect that balance. And it's not a reflection of this specific situation, but of interactions generally in most cities.

I agree wholeheartedly with the comments about Duke Park -- where you see kids regularly playing across ethnic and class lines. We lose that cross-cultural interaction in society, it seems, as we age.

I've seen examples on the other side, too. The crowd that turned out for the installation of City Council back in December, for instance, was probably 80-85% African-American.

To me, I'm most interested in the question that 9/9 is asking in his last comment -- what have folks found to "get more involved in a more diverse set of communities and neighborhoods."

The most successful events I've seen at doing this have been the big downtown gatherings -- the holiday parade, and Durham Rising, FWIW.

(Oh, and to John's initial point -- we have no kids. I'm a product of private schools; my wife, of cash-poor public schools, though we both made it to a top university. And worth noting, too, that not all houses in TP are big -- we live in the more pedestrian, though less pedestrian-friendly, Duke St. corridor.)

[Joe]

WRT the question of diversity: It's be interesting to know what folks are comparing the picture above to. Should the picture exactly represent Durham's overall percentages of different races? Should the picture be compared to, say a parallel situation in Cary (don't ask me how you make the situation parallel)? How about Wilmington, NC, or Buffalo, NY? What about the things you can't see, like sexual orientation? How about economic status?

It seems like on the one hand, there are people for whom no amount of visible integration will be satisfying. On the other hand, there are folks who point out the slightest differences as positive signs of integration. (I'm speaking generally here, and not necessarily to anyone who commented to this post). Me? I usually start out by picking apart the differences, minimizing them, and saying we're not so integrated as we think we are. Then I think about the racism I hear about in other parts of the world, like Kenya and the former Yugoslavia, and I wind up thinking that things aren't so bad.

Maybe I should just be glad that there are people in the picture at all, 'cause, you know, we could just all sit at home and complain instead. The folks in the picture decided to get out and help someone. I think that's probably good, no matter who showed up.

[Michael Bacon]

9/9: You say: "I guess in the future I should just keep my big mouth shut." That's the last thing I would ever suggest anyone do around here. I live for the chatter!